Wednesday, November 10, 2010


A strange thing has been happening in my brain. I know I want to find some sort of Jewish community that I feel I fit into. But whenever I find myself with time to explore an option, I opt out of going.

An example: last Friday night I found myself with nothing to do. Now, there's a Renewal synagogue not far from where I live that has Friday night services and a kiddush. Pretty opportune, huh? And yet, I stayed home and watched a movie.

Of course, afterward, I always feel like I should have gone.

I'm not sure if the reticence is coming from fear or laziness or some combination of the two. But it's definitely not productive, that I know for sure.


Philo said...

Could it just be apprehension of walking into an unfamiliar setting? Maye you need a friend to go with, so you're not going in feeling out of place.

Pierre Sogol said...

it's a totally natural need for community and a totally natural response to be inconsistant - regardless of ones circumstances - given the isolation of the modern era, which has spent so much time emphasising the transient aspects of "The Individual" over the fullness of ACTUAL individuals capacity and needs. that you keep it in mind is good in itself. All the best!

chaimsmom said...

I understand your feelings. My experiences with the Orthodox world have left me battered and hurt. So while I want to find a community, I am also wary.